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The Dearheart EP

by J. Kyle Pittman

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1.
Into the giallo chord we move Drawn from the light of day Into the giallo chord we move Called to give our blood away Into the giallo chord we move Blinded by the sentimentality Of breaking down for good For good Into the giallo chord we move Drawn from the light of day Into the giallo chord we move Called to give our blood away Into the giallo chord we move Blinded by the sentimentality Of breaking down for good Into the giallo chord Yeah
2.
Matte Black 03:43
Pink and black, skin and bones Anxiety attacks and the longing to be known See I never let it go Let your daughters stay late among the living dead I will tell ‘em true stories of the monsters in their beds Yeah, I know a thing or two I got monsters in my head But it’s okay We’re punching up at all the problems pouring out on us Trying to get a little where we can Is that so wrong? It’s such a rush And there’s no way You couldn’t hope to save yourself up for a rainy day Kinda gotta roll with what you’re given Then live and learn and look away Summer sun’s fading light The kids are holding on to a promise through the night But someday they’ll let it go When you’re old and worn, looking back The promises are broken but the longing is still intact A vision of what might’ve been All dressed in pink and black But it’s okay We’re punching up at all the problems pouring out on us Trying to get a little where we can Is that so wrong? It’s such a rush And there’s no way You couldn’t hope to save yourself up for a rainy day Kinda gotta roll with what you’re given Then live and learn and look away Everything you ever wanted Lived and died in a day Everyone you ever knew Was gone too soon Pink and black, skin and bones Anxiety attacks and the longing to be known But it’s okay We’re punching up at all the problems pouring out on us Trying to get a little where we can Is that so wrong? It’s such a rush And there’s no way You couldn’t hope to save yourself up for a rainy day Kinda gotta roll with what you’re given Then live and learn and look away Roll with what you're given now Roll with what you're given now Then live and learn And look away
3.
Maybe I become this silence Not the other way around Maybe you can hear the songs of sirens If you keep your ear to the ground It’s a landmark occasion But it’s listing all the same Maybe you can solve your own equation If you keep your head in the game Still I don’t know how to use the minor key But sing loud and sing proud I don’t guess they’re coming ‘round To the stories they’ve been told Swing away and swing low I already know how this goes While it’s strange, inert, and restless It’s a thing to call my own A dream of taking care of business While I work my hands to the bone I would sign your petition If you’d promise not to play Giving in to some old superstition Got its hooks in back in the day Still I don’t know how to use the minor key But sing loud and sing proud I don’t guess they’re coming ‘round To the stories they’ve been told Swing away and swing low I already know how this goes Still you asked, “How’s it going? “How’s that thing you do?” And still you asked, “How’s that thing you spent every ounce of your lifeforce “Sweating through blood-soaked screams to birth upon the scene?” Sing loud And sing proud But I don’t guess they’re coming ‘round To the stories they’ve been told So swing away And swing low But I already know how this goes
4.
I still haven’t driven Mulholland I don’t know if she’s a place in my soul But at least I got to stare down the ocean and pray I’d never be any farther from home I saw the smoke clouds loom in the distance Never had a real chance to alight Was a bad luck blessing, a vital sign Saw me back in my rifle sights Saying I don’t mind if rumors start to grow I’d assumed we all already knew California kills; it’s just a matter of time California kills; it’s just a matter of time Twisting like a knife Always only drunk and in decline As we all know, California kills My cycles spin in a dream verse Where I could be understood in my time But in the liminal waking hours, I find Just some ghosts that we left behind Forever running from the demon of Dearheart Forever trying to keep the memory alive For every nightmare slain, twenty-seven soft hands Clutching loaded dice in the night Faith and sex and God and fog and love and faithless fear Leave me with my thousand-unit stare California kills; it’s just a matter of time California kills; it’s just a matter of time Twisting like a knife Always only drunk and in decline As we all know, California kills You can’t make love a political issue Life’s leaning hard to miss you Long to see it every day You can’t make love like they’re trying to trace you You’re gonna bind the arms that embrace you Everyone’s got their own thing going on And on and on and on So I don’t mind if rumors start to grow
5.
Was a younger, more innocent time Cigarettes and breakfast is fine When there’s no future, there’s no fear of dying So cool, Bohemian eyes Slicing up all they espy A slight embellishment of passersby Saying send her letters Or let her know either way Hit me like a sucker punch, black and blue Best of three, you and me, tried and true Hung up on some things that I didn’t do Let it go, let it go, let it go Heavier than ever, box cutter blues Singalongs and serenades and stolen shoes Hung up on some things that I wish I knew And I know, and I know, and I know It’s the same dream every night Lost in the blitz and bylines A longing lingering since ‘99 Sentenced to settling down Silence the sorriest sound A fleeting fantasy run aground Singing sweetly, "May you find your worth "In the waking world" Hit me like a sucker punch, black and blue Best of three, you and me, tried and true Hung up on some things that I didn’t do Let it go, let it go, let it go Heavier than ever, box cutter blues Singalongs and serenades and stolen shoes Hung up on some things that I wish I knew And I know, and I know, and I know So sing me off to sleep, been sleeping dreadfully I got a right and a need to repair what fell apart in my wake Make no mistake And when you dream of me in cycles endlessly That’s some parallel existence still hope I might someday see Oh silly me Was a younger, more innocent time Cigarettes and breakfast is fine When there’s no future, there’s no, there’s no, there’s no Fear of dying So sing me off to sleep, been sleeping dreadfully I got a right and a need to repair what fell apart in my wake Make no mistake And when you dream of me in cycles endlessly That’s some parallel existence still hope I might someday see Oh silly me
6.
Yeah We're all going We're all going We're all going

about

Way back in Summer 2008, I began writing songs for an album tentatively titled 𝘔𝘺 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵. That effort never came to fruition, and this EP is not an attempt to recreate those songs as they were — these are more recent, most written this year — but I wanted to recapture the energy and emotions of that period. Consider it a time capsule of a bygone decade…or one from a parallel universe.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘌𝘗 is my first collection of original non-soundtrack music in over twelve years. These songs are all thematically related; they're all in the same key; they're all recorded with identical guitar and bass tones. The goal here was to do something that sounded live and spontaneous, to not care too much about every chord landing precisely on the beat, and to just let the songs breathe.

Lyrically, this EP is — like so much of my music, it seems — angling toward some ideal of how to encapsulate teenage emotion, how to bottle the sense of staring down sunsets. These are songs of longing, frustration, and catharsis. As thoughts and ideas tend to coalesce, this has also turned into a loose sort of companion piece to my 2017 video game 𝘌𝘗𝘖𝘕𝘠𝘔𝘖𝘜𝘚: 𝘐𝘯 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘐𝘴 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘣𝘺 𝘐𝘵𝘴 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨. You don't have to have played that game to enjoy this music, but they both deal with similar themes.

Recorded at my home in McKinney, TX.

credits

released September 4, 2020

All songs by J. Kyle Pittman.
Cover photo by Colin Spacetwinks.

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J. Kyle Pittman Mc Kinney, Texas

I got bit by a pixel vampire and now I'm made of pixels.

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